Effective Therapy in Los Altos

Struggle is a natural aspect of human life. Most of us experience some sort of emotional struggle such as anxiety, depression, addiction, grief, trauma, or loss at one or more points in our lives.

Many of us associate our struggle with some “fundamental flaw within” or tell ourselves that the reason our struggle continues  is that “we don’t try hard enough” or “our commitment to living the life we value is not strong enough.” On the contrary, we most likely exert more “well-intentioned efforts” towards ending our struggles than most people. 

However, living a vital and meaningful life and achieving the qualities one desires require attention and focus on a range of factors different from what our “common-sense” mind usually suggests.

The relationship between a couple is a complex and ever-changing process. It is both rewarding and at times distressful. Most couples who come to counseling explain the marital dissatisfaction in terms of the pragmatic issues which usually describe the surface manifestation of the problem while a deeper emotional current runs unnoticed. That is why more is needed than teaching  problem solving, effective communication, and conflict resolution skills , although inherently helpful, will not be enough to increase marital satisfaction. 

In my practice, the work begins with a detailed assessment of the couples’ relationship including the quality and style of communication, level of intimacy, sexual satisfaction, significant and influential events in their lives, their degree of psychological flexibility, and roles and responsibilities in order to find the strengths and challenges of the relationship.  Next, in a collaborative fashion, I help couples formulate their goals in a clear and objective manner. Finally, I help partners adopt effective strategies to promote positive change and let go of the repeated patterns that have caused distress and stagnation in the relationship.

A significant part of human behavioral pattern is acquired through a transaction between the individual's actions and the consequences that these actions create in their environment such as family. Through these transactions, behaviors that are reinforced will persist and over time turn into automatic responses while those behaviors which do not receive reinforcement are gradually extinguished.

In most cases family is the most immediate environment for an individual, especially children and adolescents. Therefore, family plays a significant role in the formation of behavioral repertoire for each member. That is why family therapy is becoming the therapy of choice, especially for treating young children and adolescents.

In my practice, after conducting a comprehensive assessment of the potential problems, I help my clients gain deeper understanding of how the problem patterns are sustained. Through experiential exercises and mindfulness interventions, I coach family members to bring about the positive behavior change within themselves and promote that change in others.  Awareness about the factors reinforcing a behavior helps clients adopt effective communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution skills.